Ramona sat in her veranda contemplating the last few weeks. Which, seeing how full they were, felt more like months.
Her apartment never did get finished. It turned out Nathan wasn’t quire as enamoured with her spontaneity and quirky ways as he thought he was. And so they fizzled out. And even if she was earning a tidy sum, it wasn’t a salary for two, and he wasn’t going to afford that place on her own.
But, as luck would have it, a couple she knew were off traveling for a year and they offered her their place to sit for a year.
Mona moved their stuff into storage and her stuff in – including all her new possessions – lamps, candles, lights, lanterns.
“Maybe” she reasons. “I’m he house of lights. I am Ra Mona – the Sun Goddess.” She blushed at the thought of it now, and thought, somewhat sadly, that it was probably that straw which broke the camel’s back between her and Nathan.
Still, they gave the place some atmosphere, and she liked that her energy bill was going to be nonexistent for a couple of months.
“Enough of this.” She announced.
She closed her eyes and tried again.
***
Her initial attempts at meditation were guided. Not having a clue where to start, she went out and bought a stack of CDs with breathing instructions and forest sounds.
They just made her want to piss.
And those were the ones without the pan pipes.
So now she was au natural.
***
Focus on your breathing.
In.
Hold
Out.
Hold.
In.
Out.
Empty your mind. Focus only on your breathing.
Slowly inhale, slowly exhale.
…
Well. This is going ok.
…
I’m acing this focus thing. I have no idea why I thought it was hard.
All it is is listening to my breathing. Look
That’s in.
…
And that’s out.
…
This is in
And thi-
…
Piss
***
Breathing. Counting down from 10 to 1.
And 10.
Relaxing the legs, feeling the stress and tension drift away.
9
Feeling the weigh of my body in my legs.
8
Witness the tension and stress drain from my chest.
7
Hear the beat of my heart, and the roar of my breath.
6
Now my arms and shoulders.
5
Focus on the shoulders. Loosen any tension left there.
4
Now my neck.
3
Finally my head, Relax my head, but keep the line straight, so it sits upright, facilitating my breathing.
2
Feel, and accept, the weight of my body. Relaxed, with no stress.
And on 1, remove all verbal thought.
1
*
Ramona sits. She breaths deeply and clearly.
She is in her veranda, the windows gateways to the world outside, and barriers to it.
Like her eyes and mind. The gateways to Not Her, but barriers to it now – as she focuses inwards.
She feels a sense of happiness.
She looks so calm.
So happy.
So…who is she describing this to?
Her mind should be blank.
She..Her…
ARSE!
***
“Forget one hand clapping, is that the sound of me snoring?”
She snapped her eyes open with a snort.
“CRAP”
***
Something was different that last time. Her mind did focus on a single thought. It kept that thought, span it around in her mind.
And – at a timeless point in her meditation – she felt…something.
An outpouring.
In her contemplative state she examined the outpouring, saw it was energy, was content with that, and continued to focus on the thought.
When she started to come out, her meditative state reminded her that there had been an energy fluctuation and she emerged excited and rejuvenated.
Outside in the garden she had set up a summoning triangle – a place where she could contain anything she created safely, until she decided if it should be loosed on the world.
Triangle for summonings, circles for summoners.
She hoped.
She pulled open the door and saw her first success.
“Oh…DUCK”
***
Today’s photo was supplied by Tine Sørensen