George sat and stared out of the window.

He was not happy.

This vacation wasn’t all it was hyped up to be.

The accommodation was just a little to comfortable for his liking. Definitely not the “roughing it in the wild” that was advertised. And the food was terrible.

He’d tried complaining but the staff just didn’t understand a word he was saying. They just gave him more of that disgusting food.

He left the window and headed to his bed.

Of course he’d expected some teething problems. He was, after all, an early adopter. But this, clearly, was not what he had been sold.

“Take a turn to the wild side with Crossroads Vacations.”

The teaser ad had done it’s job. He had been teased. He’d searched out more information and found their cheesy full length ad.

“Is your life at a crossroads? Only the same old vacation to break up your dreary life? You need a change of direction. Head into the wild with Crossroads Vacations.”

So he’d gone in, picked one he liked, and signed up. Then it was all a matter of waiting.

“A week as the wild feline, dangerous, ready to attack at a moments notice.” That’s what the ad said.

“Not,” George thought. “Be a fat house cat, owned by a mad old woman and eat tinned food.”

He sighed, and tried not to think about washing.

***

Brian was not happy.

“Take to the seas as the ultimate predator. Cut through the oceans as a proud and dangerous shark.”

He turned in his bowl.

“I’m a bloody gold fish. I know I am.”

He swam to the other side.

Brian was not happy.

“Take to the seas as the ultimate predator. Cut through the oceans as a proud and dangerous shark.”

He turned in his bowl.

“I’m a bloody gold fish. I know I am.”

He swam to the other side.

Brian was not happy.

“Take to the seas as the ultimate predator. Cut through the oceans as a proud and dangerous shark.”

He turned in his bowl.

“I’m a bloody gold fish. I know I am.”

He swam to the other side.